The Hidden Benefits of Migraines

I used to be a chronic migraine sufferer. Now, through carefully controlled diet, I only have a handful of episodes a year, including one today! Here are the perks:
  1. Weight loss!
    The pounds come right off when you're too nauseated to eat. Or, ya know, puking.
  2. Nap time!
    Exhausted and in agony? Lucky you, no one expects you to be upright or awake.
  3. Your own personal light show!
    No one can see those pretty aura flashes but you.
  4. A break from social media!
    If your vision is distorted and looking at, well, anything really, makes you want to puke, it's a great time to take that break from scrolling.
  5. An excuse to call in sick/leave work early.
    Even if your boss doesn't believe in migraines and they're not quite bad enough to make you puke, the runny nose, diarrhea, chills, and general dead look in your eyes is probably enough to make everyone at work never want to see you again.
  6. It's like being drunk!
    Ok, the dizziness is like being drunk. The rest of it is like having the worst hangover of your life.
  7. Advice.
    When you get migraines people love to give you lots of advice on how to make them stop. I did get mine to stop (mostly). If you want to know how, ask me, but know that it involves giving up alcohol and caffeine almost entirely.