Ways That I'm Afraid I'll Die
- •Choking on a pillI'm a terrible pill swallower. I'm constantly getting them lodged in my throat. Anything larger than a Tylenol capsule may as well be a boulder. I've been prescribed one pill that I will only attempt to swallow when there are other people near by to save me in case I choke. If I'm home alone all day I won't take it.
- •Dog fartsMy husband's family has excessively flatulent dogs. When we go to my in-law's family cottage, and all the dogs are in the same room, sometimes I worry I'll die of methane poisoning. There was a small, slow gas leak in the house that people ignored for years because it blended with the dog farts. I should be afraid of dying from a gas leak, but for whatever reason I'm not.
- •Plane crashThis is not unusual or interesting, but it is a fear nonetheless. I have had 3 pilots in the family, one who survived a crash, one who died in a crash, and one who stopped flying planes after his nephew died in a crash.
- •Being pushed off el/subway platformI don't know why, but this is the only urban violence that I'm fearful of and also why I strongly believe that you always keep crazy in front of you. If I am ever pushed onto the tracks I hope I have the presence of mind to grab the motherfucker and take them down with me.
- •FallingI'm terrified of heights, but until last winter I would not have specifically classified this as a way that I feared I'd die. But then I had a dream where I was cross country skiing and I came over the top of a hill and the ground fell away in front of me and I kept going. I must have been 80 ft in the air when my forward momentum stopped and I dropped. Knew I was going to die. I hit the ground. Died. Everything went black. Woke up in a cold sweat.
- •Listening to my kid talk about his video gamesI don't think it's possible to die from hearing your kid blather on about video games, but it sure does feel like it. After a friend's autistic son talked my son's ear off about video games that my son doesn't play my son said to me, "I'm sorry. I'll never do that again." So this is less of a fear now, but a few years ago it was real.