Worst Things I've Had to Do at Various Jobs

  1. Deal with shoppers at a high end toy store during the holiday season. 'Nuf said.
    FAO Schwarz, downtown Chicago
  2. Read fan mail with dried blood on the paper or with polaroids of "semi-erect" penises attached.
    (MTV Studios, 1991. Downtown Julie Brown and Adam Curry had some freaky fans)
  3. Shovel camel shit.
    Bronx Zoo
  4. Tell victims of domestic violence that I had no space for them at the shelter or worse, that they were going to have to leave the shelter.
    Crisis line, Domestic violence shelter
  5. Clean maggots out of a dog's open wound.
    Veterinarian's office
  6. Kill a whole bunch of baby chicks in a gas chamber.
    Lincoln Park Zoo...'cause other animals needed to eat them
  7. Wipe fake blood off of Nick Offerman's bare ass every night.
    Goodman Theatre, Richard II, 1994