1. Homemade cookbook that is actually just a book with fun messages on every page like "YO MAKE HIM COOK" and "HAVEN'T YOU HEARD OF PINTEREST?"
  2. A link to a YouTube playlist that has 48 versions of the penguin cheating video.
  3. Book about preying mantises mating habits.
  4. A copy of a very solid prenup with a sticky note on top that reads, "Just in case you need any ideas💛"
  5. Framed wall art: A blown up version of a ransom style note you created that says, "HE STILL LOVES HIMSELF MORE THAN YOU."
  6. Your old binder of feminist essays with your comments in the margins. Don't bother to erase things like, "men can't help their weakness" and "MARRIAGE=SLAVERY?"
  7. The number for a good lawyer.