1. My grandmother constantly apologizes for my grandfather when he's out of the room instead of in front of him.
  2. My mom still hasn't divorced my dad even though she's familiar with his personality.
  3. I used to regularly save my farts so I could plant one in my sister's mouth when she finally laid down to sleep and she tells that story as if she's always thought it was funny and definitely wasn't afraid to go to bed at night.
  4. I tell my brother that he owes me French fries when he doesn't and he tells me that I have a problem as he forks over the cash.
  5. When I tell my sister I'm going to steal her boyfriend and that he obviously likes me way more than her she just sighs.
  6. I'm pro choice and my mommy still buys me Trader Joe's gummy tummies.
  7. My sister lets me watch depressing conservation documentaries crazy loud when she's trying to sleep and only later tells me that she had nightmares.
  8. My brother roasts my mom in company about never cooking and she doesn't take them to see his bedroom.
  9. My aunt has not once threatened my uncle's ex wife with bodily harm which I'm sure has been very difficult for her.