THINGS THAT I AM ACCORDING TO PEOPLE THAT THINK THEY KNOW ME

  1. Lazy
  2. Ignorant
  3. Ugly
  4. Stupid
  5. The worst employee ever
    Eh
  6. A bleeding heart liberal
    lol ouch?
  7. Liar
  8. Ungrateful
  9. Disloyal
  10. A bitch
  11. Hateful
  12. Average
  13. A backstabber
  14. Unfriendly
  15. Stuck up
  16. Unkind
  17. Negative
  18. Judgmental
  19. A quitter
  20. A leech
  21. Mean-spirited
  22. Rude
  23. Too loud
  24. Too quiet
  25. Too serious
  26. Never serious
  27. Too secretive
  28. Vacant
  29. Vapid
  30. Unfeeling
  31. Intolerant
  32. Cold
  33. Cruel
  34. Wasteful
  35. Uptight
  36. A coward
  37. Irreverent
  38. Evil
  39. Small
  40. A million others, I'm sure.
  41. I've definitely been most of these things. For a moment. For a month. Whatever.
  42. I've tried to alter my speech patterns and my way of thinking so instead of, "he's dumb," I say, "that was dumb." Although, in the spirit of kindness, not saying dumb at all is probably best.
  43. I grew up in a household where name calling was pretty commonplace and after a particularly clear-headed afternoon I realized that I really believed people when they called me one thing or another.
  44. Especially when it was criticism coming from people that should know me best.
  45. So. You aren't dumb, you aren't ungrateful, you aren't stupid or lazy or hopeless or evil. Sometimes you act like it but you are not.
  46. It's so rare that someone looks at you and sees your soul and recognizes the greatness there - we kind of wait around years and decades for that kind of thing to happen.
  47. In the meantime, we hurl insults and call names and judge other people and find ourselves wounded by the same and we write lists about why it isn't okay. I do, at least.
  48. It isn't okay, though.
  49. If it's okay for me and you to not be perfect, it's okay for everyone else.
  50. I need the reminder a lot. Less when someone else is calling names and more when I am.