TIMES I KNEW I WAS A GONER

  1. All the times I sneezed while driving.
  2. When I thought I was finished going down the stairs but I was wrong.
  3. When I couldn't get the apple peel out of my teeth.
  4. The time that guy looked at me on the subway.
  5. When I couldn't swallow that spaghetti noodle.
  6. The time I told my mom to be quiet.
  7. When my sister threw up in her right hand while driving and tried to throw it out the window.