Cue the spy music. It'll set a mood of trickery and deceit.
  1. There is a five year age gap between my brother and I, him being younger.
  2. This story takes place when I was probably 8 or 9ish? Young enough to still play with barbies.
    And my brother was at toddler age - young enough to walk and talk full sentences.
  3. (Although to be fair, he was walking at 9 months and telling knock knock jokes at 8 months)
    My favorite joke of his was: why is the fire truck red? BECAUSE IT IS! And then he would laugh hysterically. ❤️
  5. Our house was really small before we added on, so the tv/living room was in the front of the house
    And my bro's bedroom was literally right next to the living room, at the top of the hall with my bedroom at the end of the hall before it turned (hopefully you guys can visualize this).
  6. I have always been a heavy sleeper
  7. The way I remember it is that he would appear in my room, all upset and scared that he couldn't sleep.
  8. Me, not really awake, would be like hey let's share this bed, stop crying.
    And then I would immediately fall asleep.
  9. The way HE tells the story is that he would sneak down the hallway, Tom Cruise style.
  10. Pretend to be upset.
  11. And then once I fell asleep, he would get out of my bed and play with my barbies.
  12. And the purple paint I had from a paint set.
  13. You might see where this is going.
  14. I would wake up the next morning with barbies covered in paint.
  15. Like, what the fuck dude. How dare you take advantage of me in my REM state.
  16. This happened TWICE.
  17. And the craziest thing is that my parents had NO idea any of this was happening.
  18. They would literally be watching tv, clueless.
  19. My brother still laughs really hard when we tell this story.
  20. Asshole.