MY GREATEST REGRET 😕

Inspired by @ListPrompts
  1. There are moments where I think about this a lot
  2. It's come up more recently because of the "On This Day" Facebook feature
  3. You used to write on my wall a lot - "I miss you. We should hang out more!"
    It was right there for me to see, but I was just too naive to see it.
  4. But this is going back further, back to high school.
  5. When we were friends and we laughed all the time.
  6. I had the biggest crush on you, but I kept it to myself.
    Well, to myself and my friends. Obviously.
  7. Side regret: there was that one time our mutual friend mentioned that a bunch of us had a crush on you (which I'm not sure was true, I think it was only me). Your eyes got all wide and you asked me, "You had a crush on me?"
    And I made a "are you kidding me?" face and played it off like a joke. I should've said yes. I should've been brave.
  8. But going back.
  9. There was that time that a bunch of us were hanging in E's basement.
    ~*high school mems*~
  10. We were sitting on the floor and you had to leave, because of curfew or whatever.
  11. One thing lead to another and you grabbed my foot and you easily dragged me along the linoleum. I couldn't stop you and I was laughing. It was so easy.
  12. You brought me around the corner into a side room that had no light on. The only light that was on was streaming in through the open door way.
  13. Your hands grabbed mine and you helped me up off the floor.
  14. I don't remember if we said anything. I was probably laughing as you brought me up, saying "Oh my god."
  15. But you pulled me up and I couldn't see your face, just the outline of your head and shoulders.
  16. Your face was close enough to mine that I could feel your breath on my bottom lip.
  17. It felt so slow and fast all at the same time.
  18. But in the light, I saw your girlfriend standing outside the doorway.
  19. I don't remember who said what, but I think we hugged goodbye? Probably.
  20. But I remember standing in the dark for a bit, thinking 2 things:
    I should've kissed you. But I didn't want to be "that" girl. To break up your relationship.
  21. (By the way, that side regret happened after this happened)
  22. You guys left and I walked out into the light, our friends having moved to a card table that was set up.
    "What happened in there?" They asked in that teasing teenage girl way. I said "Nothing.", which technically was true. But I think I just wanted to keep it to myself. It felt a little too real.
  23. We stayed friends for awhile, through college.
  24. But I stayed home, you went away. You moved and came back.
  25. You got a new girlfriend in college and she became your wife.
  26. I went to the wedding and it was fine.
    I was wrapped up in the drama of trying to get my best friend to break up with her terrible boyfriend. It distracted me from thinking about you. How excited you were to see us at the church. How I wanted this to maybe be our wedding.
  27. You're never on Facebook except for these posts that keep showing up in my notifications.
  28. It's a reminder to me to go for the things I want, because I have a pattern of not doing that.
  29. My biggest regret is that I didn't go for you. That I couldn't let myself be "that" girl.
  30. The girl who gets what she wants.