Driving Pet Peeves
Just some of the things I hate to have happen when I'm out driving my car!
- •When someone cuts you off and then stops right in front of you, causing you to crash into them, launching your body out of the driver's seat and into a billboard for a TV show you just KNOW is going to get cancelled
- •When a pedestrian jumps on the hood of your car and shouts "Metal Trampoline! Metal Trampoline!"
- •When a bicyclist is not using the bike line and is instead riding on the yellow line, wobbling and acting like it's a balance beam for bikes
- •When you see someone texting and driving and you think "Hey, texting, I like to do that" so you reach for your phone but it's not there because you dropped your phone into a sewer earlier that morning
- •When all your tires go flat at once and there's no camera to shrug comically at
- •When you honk your horn and it is ominously deep sounding all of a sudden
- •When the newspaper boy hurls a newspaper into your open window as you pass by, knocking you out and causing you to crash into a tree
- •When you see someone forget to give their car a thank you kiss after parking and getting out.
- •When you see someone with one of those braggy bumper stickers like the one that says "I'm Better Than All The Other Drivers On The Road, Even The President And Vice President" or the one that says "My Children Are So Smart, Even Smarter Than Our Top Olympians"
- •When someone pulls onto the highway and just drives straight across the road and into the median