I Just Dropped Out of College and Here Are All the Things I Will Miss About It

  1. Being able to wear my shirt that says "I Am In College"
  2. All those talks with my friends about what a diploma will feel like
  3. Eating in the dining hall and saying "Yes, this is the college food!" after every bite.
  4. Walking around campus and having people say "You are the big man on campus, the enormous man who we all fear and love."
  5. Slamming my exams down on the professor's desk, shattering the desk and my arm every time.
  6. Always thanking the football players for what they did, and the football players always thanking me.
  7. Buying posters for my dorm that say "A College Boy Sleeps Here" and "Do Not Disturb: This Boy Needs To Rest For His Big Tests"
  8. My dean taking me aside and saying "You need to pull more pranks on me, they keep me in line."
  9. Drinking a big glass of sweet delicious beer while I think about how college is happening at that moment
  10. Watching Monsters University and being able to say "That is very similar to what is happening to me right now except for one huge difference."