Inspired by @magic
  1. Google searching things in caps lock
    because caps lock was already on and then when I start typing I'm like yeah that matches my feelings about this Google search
  2. calling people my boyfriend, husband, or the love of my life when they are in fact none of those things
    recent examples: "my boyfriend in the Cubs jersey" about a stranger, "the love of my life, Aubrey Plaza" about the love of my life, Aubrey Plaza
  3. snorting at my own jokes
    pt 2 scrolling through my own Twitter laughing at myself (I'm @ brianadf hmu)
  4. not brushing my hair
    i have straight hair so it isn't because brushing makes me go frizzy or anything. I use a lot of conditioner and then usually just finger comb if I feel like it
  5. sneezing either twice or ~32 times in a row
    my usual is 2 but sometimes they just keep coming. I have unconfirmed allergies
  6. going shopping and being surprised by how much everything costs
    imho (almost) everything should be under $25, a lot of stuff should be under $10 but #capitalism u know
  7. sleeping with 4 pillows
    my ideal sleeping position I think would be me on a big bed, buried in pillows
  8. staring at dogs
    I mean like double-take, turn my head as they + their owner pass me on the street stare
  9. marathoning @BuzzFeed videos or late night talk show interviews
    preferred to Netflix binge watching bc my attention span is.........nowhere to be found
  10. knowing so much about a random subject that people get confused
    I read a lot of Wikipedia articles? and also I'm intelligent ok leave me alone
  11. saying "me" or "same" in response to literally everything
    I have become a parody of a real person