You're not fooling anyone.

  1. The stores are really Big OR Tall.
  2. There are several brands of universal remotes.
  3. McRib isn't back by popular demand. They're still working through the original inventory from 1979.
  4. Heirloom tomato would still be a shitty inheritance.
  5. It's not even you're own Rascal, it's the one from the grocery store.
  6. The service chihuahua is not for anxiety.
  7. It's still white trash to get a tattoo, even if it's from the Book of Corinthians.
  8. You're not a metrosexual. You just haven't met the right guy yet.
  9. Compost is just a green garbage can.