SERIOUS THINGS TO CONSIDER AT A BOOKSTORE

  1. Will a book fall on my head?
  2. Does reading Jane Austen make me basic?
  3. The staff picks are all obscure and I don't understand them.
  4. How many bookstore totes is too many?
  5. If I ask for Gone Girl, will I be judged?
  6. Do I know someone who can send me a free copy of that?