Lies I've Told My Daughter
So I can exist
- •This is the last Grammy award of the night. You're not missing anything.
- •Hayley, Chelse and Amanda are coming over. But not until you fall asleep.
- •Those just look like candy. They're things grown up women need when they are older.
- •Yes, apples have a ton of protein.
- •Adam Levine can't be your boyfriend because he might be transgender. The verdict is out.
- •I put fairy dust on your pillow but it only works if you close your eyes.
- •Chocolate causes diarrhea.
- •Maybe if you practiced a little harder you could have gone to the Golden Globes.