Modern Seinfeld Episodes

I frequently come up with these
  1. Elaine is mad because the diner doesn't serve quinoa
    George mispronounces it. he thinks it's quin-oh-a. Elaine says KEEN-WAHHH multiple times, very exaggerated. Jerry doesn't understand why people want quinoa. it's rice with a fancy name. they just want to sound important. Kramer knows a guy who can get a great deal on bulk quinoa
  2. Kramer becomes an uber driver
    but simultaneously a postmates delivery man. he delivers people to where the food was supposed to go and forgets the food isn't his and eats some
  3. George considers dumping a girl because she doesn't use Facebook
    Kramer tells him that @list is the new snapchat, which was the new Instagram, which was the new Twitter, which was the new Facebook. get with the times man!
  4. Jerry gets Elaine hooked on candy crush, then deletes the app
    Elaine can't stop. she NEEDS MORE LIVES, JERRY! George doesn't understand how she can play the game. his fingers are too big to switch the candies. he always ends up switching the wrong ones.
  5. Jerry finds out someone live-tweeted his show and ruined all his jokes for the later show
    Kenny Bania takes his place. He kills it with a joke Jerry ran by him in the dressing room.
  6. Elaine dumps Puddy for calling her "bae" too many times
    she has a NAME!
  7. Jerry and Elaine wait at the gluten free bakery while George and Kramer buy the sulfite free wine.
    Then they know they are really repeating episodes.
    Suggested by   @jaidub
  8. I think there would be an episode insinuating what kale chips really taste like.
    Suggested by   @PassiveAggressor
  9. Newman raises 2 million dollars on Kickstarter in 3 days for a kale chip business he runs out of his apartment. The whole building then starts to smell like a tannery.
    Suggested by   @lorimcs
  10. Jerry realizes there are cameras everywhere, and thinks the woman he'd been dating broke up with him because she saw his thinning bald spot in her building's access camera (mounted high).
    George has no sympathy.
    Suggested by   @BWN_7