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  1. The ends of your hair don't look dead
    Always an A+ compliment.
  2. Everyone would cry if you died.
    A little morbid, but their heart was in the right place.
  3. You're one of my favourite people.
    This one is NEVER hard to hear.
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I've had a lot of free time in the past year, and for some reason I've mostly chose to spend it researching conspiracy theories on the internet.
  1. 1.
    Any thing Kubrick.
    I could go on forever. I love love love Kubrick theories. The absolute best fact is that he mysteriously died 666 days before 2001. Too good.
  2. 2.
    Illuminati
    As you can probably guess from number one, the illuminati highly intrigues me. Such intricate theories all over. I especially enjoy the theory that the illuminati simply fabricated all other conspiracy theories in the world to throw people off the path to the truth.👁
  3. 3.
    Denver Airport
    These theories are WILD. I've spent hours of my life reading conspiracies about the Denver airport. The best part is that the theories often contradict each other and have very fragile grounds.
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We'll use the term "flirt" loosely....
  1. Scoff profanities and act like I hate the person
  2. Avoid eye contact while talking
  3. Mention strange scientific facts that do not allow for an easy segue to continue the conversation
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  1. What is this rope on my neck for?
  2. I must smell this old garbage.
  3. I am guessing it is five days old.
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Just a warning, I am a strange person most of the time...
  1. The end piece of the bread
  2. Washing my hair only after a long streak of not doing so
  3. Going a long time without shaving
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