REASONS I WOULD CONSIDER BREAKING UP WITH SOMEONE

  1. I was looking forward to not shaving my legs during the winter
  2. I really want both of us to appreciate Adele's new album on a deeper level
  3. I'm tired of washing my sheets so frequently
  4. So going to a movie by yourself isn't seen as a hostile gesture
    I just like going by myself, okay!!
  5. I need to save money.
    Dinner for 1, please.