A NOTE TO THE CLASS OF 2016

This is a good request.
  1. My advice to you guys is simple:
  2. If you don't go to college-- that's ok. But have a plan, and take it seriously.
  3. If you go to college, do what you went to college to do. Work. Your. Tail off.
  4. Take care of your body-- duh. Sleep enough that you're not constantly sick. Don't pull all-nighters if you can avoid them.
  5. But honestly? In this day and age, college costs too freakin' much for you to leave without the education you owe it to yourself to get.
  6. Go to class. Study. Make awesome grades.
  7. Pursue your academic and nonacademic passions outside of class.
  8. Make meaningful connections that will help you in the future.
  9. Look-- have an awesome time. But don't shoot yourself in the foot by being too hungover all the time to focus during your lectures, or getting involved with stuff that could get you in trouble with your school (or, God forbid, the law).
  10. Be smart. Be as smart once you GET to school, if you're going, as you had to be to get there. You may never get to focus this singlemindedly on your future again.
  11. Knock 'em dead, kids. World's too tough not to show up prepared as you can be.
  12. ...This has been the least inspirational pep talk ever.