GOALS: OR, THE KIND OF PERSON I WANT TO BE

This list is too earnest. You've been warned.
  1. The list of things I really, really want out of life is relatively short.
  2. I want to write things people read.
  3. I want to be married to Wade until one of us passes away.
  4. I want to live in the country, or a smallish town, where people know each other. I know it's possible to create community wherever you are but-- I want this.
  5. I want to be a mother-- the daydream I'm carrying around in my head is "birth 3, adopt 2."
  6. But see, this is the part where I get nervous.
  7. Bc evidently in this daydream I've also morphed into a super laid-back, people-oriented, sacrificially loving human who isn't internally screaming at you to PUT DOWN A DANG COASTER, who isn't generally incapable of spontaneity and changes to The Plan.
  8. I laugh at myself when I say I want a house full of kids and dogs in the middle of nowhere, bc I am currently a control freak living downtown in DC who spends 50 hours a week alone (and is v comfortable that way) and panics if she misses a workout.
  9. But the thing is, who I am is not the person I want to be forever.
  10. I want to always take care of my body, but not spend my life worrying about my shape-- bc far more important than the width of my hips will be the babies they carried.
  11. I want a clean, pretty house, but I don't want it to be a monument to our family's income or achievements; I want it to be a place where people can come and feel safe and welcome and loved.
  12. I want to do work that I love, but I also want to be ok with interruptions from the people who are going to mean the world to me.
  13. I don't want to live high and fast and perfectly controlled. I wanna live slow and rich and deep. And I want to be ok with having things in my life that take up my time and that I can't control, bc that is what adventure means and requires.
  14. ..............anyway. Basically I'm telling you I want this dog
  15. And to love this man until God takes one of us home
  16. I want to give birth to/adopt a bunch of kids and take them on more hikes than any kid rightfully ought to suffer and play dress up and imagination games with them
  17. And I want to write books until my fingers don't work anymore
  18. And it will be hard, all of it, so v hard. I am sure I will witness many ruined couches and peed-on carpets and interrupted dreamy hours. But I want to change. I want the painful change. I want to be bigger than I can grow by myself.
  19. Bc I think that's what it takes to become Molly Weasley.
  20. I could have just told you I wanted to be Molly Weasley, that would've been way less trouble.
  21. XO.