MEMORABLE BAD DATES

  1. So let me first say this:
  2. I went on quite a few mediocre dates that were mediocre through no fault of the guy in question.
  3. Sometimes people just don't click. It happens. Nbd.
  4. I also used to do this thing where I got reeeeeally edgy as soon as I realized a guy *actually* liked me and we weren't playing a game anymore
    Like, what? What was wrong with you, baby Anna? I feel like this has something to do with poor self-esteem but maybe we'll analyze that another day.
  5. Example: My freshman year, I backed out of an invite to hang from a guy I'd liked not two months before, bc I "had to go write thank-you notes"
    Yes, very convincing, baby Anna ✉️✉️✉️
  6. Anyway, I went on a lot of meh dates.
  7. A couple where I realized I was just way too old for the guy in question. 👶🏻
    Only by a year or two, but it felt like way more than that.
  8. A couple where I realized I was just NOT a priority-- the party where he circulated so much I might as well not have come (I left without saying goodbye), the time I made dinner and the guy showed up TWO HOURS late
    Like, what?
  9. One where I realized later that *I* had been the awful one and spent a whole party flirting with someone who was not my perfectly nice date
    Again, bad move, baby Anna. Major party foul.
  10. But on only two dates have I just been absolutely horrified by the guy's behavior.
  11. One I only realized was horrible in retrospect: and that was the time my boyfriend (my FIRST boyfriend, no less) told me I was a "predictable" kisser.
    I was a baby and it broke my HEART. It did not occur to me that I should be totally pissed at this because are you KIDDING me? 😡😡😡
  12. I should add that we were not dumb high-schoolers. This was COLLEGE! and he was TWENTY-TWO! He knew better.
  13. Y'all, if someone is smooching you, do not be critical of how they do it. Good LORD.
  14. The second was a date with a guy I met while out and about with friends the first summer I interned here in DC
  15. And this is truly the worst date I've ever been on.
  16. At one point, while we were walking around, I passed one of my friends on his way back to our dorm and literally mouthed HELP
    Jon looked at me like, what? and kept walking.
  17. He talked about his ex the whole time. 🙃
  18. I paid for my own orange chicken, which--even though I'm pretty old-school and tend to favor when guys pay on the first date--wouldn't have been the end of the world. EXCEPT--
  19. HE WENT ON AND ON ABOUT HIS FAMILY'S MONEY!
  20. Literally. We were not a block from our dorm when he made a comment about some injury ("aww," I probably said, so sympathetic) and then rounded it up with "but that's how it is when your dad owns a ski resort."
    🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
  21. I went back to my dorm and watched Wedding Crashers with my guy friends and ate the rest of my orange chicken.
  22. I know these aren't really that bad. No one's ever tried to take advantage of me, or anything like that, so I'm mostly very grateful for my experience.
  23. Kissing a frog 🐸or two 🐸🐸definitely helps you recognize the real thing when you see it.
  24. Anyway, the moral of this story is, I'm very glad I got married before Tinder became a thing. 👍🏻
  25. The end. 💖