REASONS TO WAKE ME UP BEFORE 8AM

(I am human garbage and a total slug. I know.)
  1. Traveling
    I am the queen of road trips. I have taken at least 2 10-15 hours trips pretty much every year since I was born, usually more. I love long drives-- making playlists, planning what books to pack, snarfing whole boxes of Hot Tamales and bags of chili cheese Fritos and hunting down Cracker Barrels and.....this needs to be a list. Anyway, yeah, wake me up as early as you need for the road trip-- knowing, of course, that I may pass out in the passenger seat.
  2. Camping out outside a music venue
    Yes, I will get up preposterously early to wait for 5SOS for 12 hours.
  3. Needing to go to the hospital
    Sure. Wake me up for this thing.
  4. Husband spills iced coffee out of the fridge, in the fridge, under the fridge, under the hutch, and onto the kitchen floor
    And so you have to spend an hour moving things out of the hutch and the fridge to move the hutch and the fridge to clean underneath. The morning this happened I had been in bed for 3.5 hours when he woke me up and I almost cried but I told myself YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LEAVE HIM ALONE TO DEAL WITH THIS, YOU GET 3 BREATHS TO SILENTLY SOB THEN GET UP, BC YOU KNOW HE WOULDN'T ABANDON YOU TO A MESS EVEN IF YOU MADE IT ALL BY YOURSELF. (....this is how you know you love someone.)
  5. Whenever my uterus starts growing people?
    I hear they change the rules of the waking up game a bit.
  6. Fin. This is it. This is the end of the list. No other reasons to wake me up before 8.
  7. (In case you're judging me, I worked till 1230.)
  8. See you at 10am, bros.