THE FEDEX LADY IS MAKING ME SIT IN THE CORNER

I'm not joking
  1. This poor lady has no voice
  2. I got all stressed when I saw how much a 3 oz envelope cost to mail
    Stressful
  3. I messed up which of my 5 packages was which and only realized it after we'd done 2 of them
    Stressful
  4. And then I got all flushed and freaked out
  5. So now she has my list of addresses and is mailing packages to "grandmother and granddaddy" and "mamaw" bc that's what I wrote
  6. And consulting my husband on my abbreviations
  7. Bc I am not allowed to speak or get up from my chair. She keeps making signs for me to JUST BREATHE.
  8. This is a real thing that is happening. I can't decide if it's mortifying or hilarious.