TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE

😳😂😁😑
  1. 1.
    I once had to climb out a window onto my sorority house balcony in just a towel.
    TRUTH: I locked myself out of my room on my way to the shower and since the spare key was *in our room,* I climbed out my hall neighbors' window onto the balcony in the faint hope that my window would be unlocked. (It wasn't.) I waited in dread for pictures to surface from the Phi Delt front porch across the street for the rest of my college career.
  2. 2.
    I once used the phrase "dead shark eyes" (as in, "I know I have dead shark eyes right now, but I'm a really warm person") IN AN INTERVIEW. FOR A JOB.
    TRUTH: I did not get the job.
  3. 3.
    I was once kicked out of Wednesday night youth group bc my phone went off and my friend had changed my ringtone (unbeknownst to me) to "Shots."
    LIE: I'm 27. Were fun ringtones even available for flip phones in 2005?