ACTUAL THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO ME TODAY THAT COULD BE A NEW YORKER "SHOUTS AND MURMURS" ESSAY

  1. My best friends boyfriend bought me a book about female empowerment
    "Year of Yes" by Shonda Rhimes. Thanks Ryan.
  2. The Free Masons across the street are having a Christmas party
    I live across the street from the Free Mason headquarters. Do I go over for a cookie and some eggnog in the hopes I'll discover what the hell they actually do? I only know about Free Masons from 'National Treasure'
  3. A last minute purchase of two-for-one dancing polar bear pajamas
  4. Remembering the time my ex-boyfriend brought me to a P.F Changs thinking it was a fancy restuarant.
    Have you ever had to explain to someone youre in a chain restaurant while dressed in the fanciest dress you own?