My embarrassing, irrational (yet convincing) fears

  1. Getting poked in the eye by a passing umbrella
    Okay. So those little pokeys on the end of an open umbrella are at tension, super tiny, moving at walking speed toward me as I am at walking speed toward them (6mph + 6mph =12mph), and at perfect eye level! I consistently avoid walking down umbrella laden sidewalks and turn my head from most passing umbrellas.
  2. Getting "doored" on my bike
    Riding my bike (Jermaine) through the urban center of town is a most enjoyable experience. The passing people, ever changing situations, and constant movement really adds to life. In the bike lane you are given your own clear pathway for cruising pleasure. Until a driver in a parked car throws open his/her door into your lane! Immediate concussion, sharp steel rammed into your chest, and an end of cruising pleasure! It's never happened to me but I think about it too much riding in the bike lane.
  3. Zipping up my privates in my pants fly
    Really? You need a description?