CONVERSATIONS WITH MY DAD

Usually go something like this:
  1. How is work going?
  2. What did you eat for breakfast/lunch/dinner?
    God forbid I miss a meal.
  3. How's your financial situation?
    If he ever ended a phone call without asking this I'd be concerned.
  4. How's your friend?
    If I'm dating someone.
  5. When you buy a house...
  6. Another pair of shoes?!
  7. What if I just come live with you in New York for a little while?
    He would bartend, he says.
  8. Did you call your sister?
  9. I love you.