IF I COULD DO MIDDLE SCHOOL OVER AGAIN

  1. First, I would save up for a flat iron, cause I know all about them now.
  2. But I also wouldn't worry so much about my hair and when some boy teased me about always wearing it up id be like, "why are you so obsessed with me."
  3. My girls would have my back. And I would treasure them because I would know that our female friendships are never more special than this magical time before we start dating.
  4. And if one of them did try dating id be like, "it's okay you can talk to him! He's just as afraid of you as you are of him."
  5. And to him id be like, "you better be one of the good ones, Brian."
  6. And to the rest of my girls id be like, "come on. Let's go dance in a circle."
  7. I would be into trends like everyone else, but id also know how fleeting and unimportant they are.
  8. When my parents set some boundary I didn't like, I'd be like, "I know you are doing your best, but arbitrary rules like this don't guarantee the results you want. Mistakes are a part of me growing up. Now let me pierce my ears you monsters."
  9. I would not be afraid of someone's older brother answering the phone.
  10. When a rumor goes around about Karen going to 3rd base with a kid from another school I would set the record straight:
    Enough slut shaming! There were two people in that Wendy's parking lot. Allegedly. Some people develop faster than others and that includes sexually, so this incident should not have you feeling bad or good about yourself because it has nothing to do with you.
  11. I would savor every minute of P.E.
    Bless this opportunity to play crab soccer on a Wednesday afternoon.
  12. I would work extra hard at science because it has the most explosions.
  13. And I would cry just as much at Titanic as I did the first time. I have no regrets about that.
  14. I would do my homework Saturday morning. I can't believe I never figured that out. Then I could have plenty of stress-free time with my parents.
  15. Mostly I would own who I was.
    Congrats in your great hair and your boobs and being allowed to wear makeup, popular girls. You guys have a lot of sway. You can't intimidate me, though. I just think different stuff is fun like sleepovers where we drink slurpees and then put on old dance costumes. Or baking cookies at Marion's house and then reading.