Purses I've Ruined

Mostly from food.
  1. 15 years old. A bottle of soy sauce. Covered the opening on the bottle with saran wrap and secured it with an elastic band. Put it in my purse. Purse never recovered.
  2. 16 years old. A disposable ziploc container filled with chicken soup. Taped down warped lid with clear scotch tape. Put it in my purse. Purse never recovered.
  3. 17 years old. Skittles on a hot day. Put the leftovers in my purse. Purse never recovered.
  4. 18 years old. Left a sandwich in my purse for 1 week. 2 weeks. 3 weeks. Purse never recovered.
    Actually, it kinda recovered but at that point I didn't want it anymore.
  5. 19 years old. Sandwich incident from last year repeated itself. Purse never recovered.
  6. 20 years old. Collected many samples of free jam at a breakfast place one morning. Put the samples in my purse. Many weeks later the samples are at the bottom of purse, crushed under the weight of other purse contents. Purse never recovered.
  7. 21 years old. I collect more samples. 4 packs of premium plus saltine crackers. Weeks later the crackers are crushed crumbs. Very fine. Like powder. So fine you could ski on it. Purse never recovered.
  8. 22 years old. New rule established: no more food in any of my purses. It doesn't help. I leave sticks of gum in my purse. Weeks later the gum and my purse are one. Purse never recovered.
  9. 23 years old. My purse and I went on Splash Mountain together. The hot weather and the moisture warp the leather. Purse never recovered.
    I still wear it though.