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I've been living life as a triplet for 20 years now and we have heard it all.
- •So when's your birthday?...And when's your birthday? *waits for realization to hit*
- •Wow, you don't look identical!Fraternal, man.
- •Do you have telepathy?Yes.
- •Club volleyball coach, RoyTold the team that we wouldn't be setting the ball to anyone except my sister Amanda because she was the only one who could hit it which made me sob every game day and quit the sport (paid thousand of dollars to play and be coached in order to improve but it's whatevs)
- •Club volleyball coach, GuyDedicated coach but videotaped all of our practices to watch later and forced us all to meet with him privately at Caribou Coffee to discuss volleyball but really we just talked about our lives and it was like a weird forced date
- •Former office bossLet me do all his work unbeknownst to me and once set me an inappropriate article on walrus semen? Was put on probation after I quit and told on him
- •Crumbs in my bedActively eating peanut butter crackers in bed now
- •Wet socks
- •The word moistMoist moist moist moist
It only took a year and a half of regular running and multiple trips to a physical therapist to figure out I was running incorrectly (can now run more than a mile and am improving without feeling like death!) but here's a summary of what it used to be like
- •Oops Brittney look you accidentally wandered onto a treadmill again
- •Pretend you're a fit person
- •Are you even literate?
- •Did you actually read the whole thing?
- •How dare you say this is trash/worst thing you've ever read/author has no talent WHERE'S YOUR PUBLISHED NOVEL
- •Frozen pizza 10% of the timeParents of the children I am babysitting, "We left a pizza in the oven, it should be ready in five minutes!" 45 minutes of baseball playing later. 😱
- •Pasta*only accidentally dropped it all in the sink while draining it once
- •GumboNow aware that 3 cloves of garlic is not the same as 3 bulbs of garlic 😅
- •Fried eggsOnly sometimes do they morph into scrambled eggs but I have a 100% success rate in flipping them whereas my culinary sister is 0/2 👍🏻