PEOPLE I SHOULD HAVE TOLD ON

  1. Club volleyball coach, Roy
    Told the team that we wouldn't be setting the ball to anyone except my sister Amanda because she was the only one who could hit it which made me sob every game day and quit the sport (paid thousand of dollars to play and be coached in order to improve but it's whatevs)
  2. Club volleyball coach, Guy
    Dedicated coach but videotaped all of our practices to watch later and forced us all to meet with him privately at Caribou Coffee to discuss volleyball but really we just talked about our lives and it was like a weird forced date
  3. Former office boss
    Let me do all his work unbeknownst to me and once set me an inappropriate article on walrus semen? Was put on probation after I quit and told on him
  4. Senior year Spanish teacher
    Was actually the German teacher but had one Spanish class. Sometimes accidentally started teaching us German and let douchey jocks rule the class. Didn't teach us 1/4 of the material we were supposed to learn THAT'S A WHOLE QUARTER
  5. Senior year economics teacher
    Held "review sessions" before each test where she literally just read the test to us and gave us all the answers because otherwise we would all fail because she sucked
  6. Myself
    One time in first grade I threw away this kid's art project from his bin and it was this really cool model dinosaur and then we had a class wide search for it and I just went along with it idk idk why
  7. High school broadcast teacher
    Texted her construction worker boyfriend, Joe, every day in class and once threw a chair across the room in rage. Was fired the year after we graduated.
  8. McKinley Doctor who said,
    "You tested positive for parasites but we're just going to leave them there because they're not bothering you." A year and a half of intestinal damage ensues.