If you want to see me at my worst... Wake me up. I dare you.
  1. Breakfast smells.
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    This is actually the best way to be woken up, if I have to be. Catching whiffs of coffee and bacon in between snoozes. Plus, breakfast is near!
  2. Hiccups
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    This is just alarming and disorienting.
  3. Earthquake
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    WE GET IT, EARTH. You're pissed. No need to throw a tantrum. Put me somewhere safe and let me return to my slumber.
  4. Tickling my feet
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    I'm not sure if you're *trying* to be the worst person orrrr.... But, it's okay. I'll just tuck the blanket under my feet and go back to sleep. It's in your best interest to leave, now.
  5. Body slam
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    I don't know what happened to you in your childhood to make you so disturbed... But, if you stay on top of me, I will be comforted by your body weight and return to sleeping.
  6. Leaf blower
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    I WILL RIP YOUR THROAT OUT.
  7. Ripping the blankets off the bed
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    (Please see GIF)
  8. Turning off my fan
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    I sleep with a loud fan. The most horrifying sound in the world is that fan going off. Slowly drifting into silence.
  9. Vacuum cleaner against the door on Saturday morning
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    (Please see GIF)
  10. A gentle caress on the arm and a "good morning sunshine. It's time to wake up."
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    I will punch you in the throat and you will have deserved it.