She's five. These are her fun facts. I had no idea Hawaii is such a grim place, you guys.
  1. "You have to be really serious in Hawaii."
    When I tried to add a disco ball to her "Hawaiian Apartment" video game.
  2. "There are NO adventures in Hawaii."
    When I suggested that maybe there's a storm coming and the dolls are trapped on a volcano because they were on an adventure.
  3. "There's no such thing as an Hawaiian Paradise in Hawaii."
    When I told her that her apartment was awesome and looked like a Hawaiian paradise.
  4. "There's a lot of water everywhere."
    When I asked what Hawaii was like.
  5. "Grilled cheese sandwiches are super popular in Hawaii."
    When I asked what people eat in Hawaii
  6. "If you don't have food, you'll die. So it's good that Hawaii has so much food."
    This was unprompted.
  7. "There's a lot of sea creatures in Hawaii. If you're lucky like me, you can see dolphins."
    I asked if there were mermaids. She rolled her eyes. 🙄
  8. "Hawaii actually came from the ocean in a bunch of little pieces and they put it together to make...... HAWAII" ✨
    Now she's just really enjoying teaching me about Hawaii. I can't stop this freight train.
  9. "The weather at Hawaii is super sunny. Make sure to put a sun emoji. ☀️"
    Now she's formatting my list.
  10. "The first person who liveded in Hawaii was the first person who SPOKE Hawaii."
  11. "The Dolphins at Hawaii are nicer than American Dolphins."
    American Dolphins are DICKS.
  12. "No one knows what Hawaii is like. It's like a mystery that everyone discovers together."
  13. How I, personally, view Hawaii.
    5123fe2a a0f9 4ef5 a4e2 a5907d7cb23d
  14. How my niece views Hawaii.
    Df6759b9 9a93 4960 89a1 291f8b181e60
  15. Who am I to contradict her? She's been there. I have not.
  16. I am not accepting applications for people willing to take me to Hawaii.
    D20a0977 e765 45aa 87d3 24b4d9240a6b