How to Get a Really Bad Sunburn on Your Ass - While Wearing a Swimsuit

  1. Step One: never see the light of day.
  2. Step Two: go to Florida in the heat of August.
  3. Step Three: put sunscreen on your shoulders... But not your legs. Because who does that?!
  4. Step Four: chase children around on the beach and splash around in the ocean - but never get in farther than your mid thigh.
  5. Step Five: at some point, your swimsuit will ride up... But don't you dare notice.
  6. Step Six: continue to chase around children for the next hour.
  7. Voila! You have a sunburn on your entire upper thigh and ass. Even 👏🏽 though 👏🏽 you were 👏🏽 wearing 👏🏽 a swimsuit.