1. National Treasure 4-18
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    After 18, not even Nick Cage can pull it together for another sequel.
  2. Ghost Rider 3
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  3. Sharknado 4
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  4. Scientology : the movie.
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    Plays Xenu. Mysteriously wins second Oscar. 👤👥👁👤👥
  5. Oxiclean commercial.
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    Replaces Billy Mays (RIP)
  6. Grease 3 : Summer Nights
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    Prequel to Grease. We follow Danny and Sandy on their whirlwind summer romance. Danny is played by Nick Cage (a la Hot Wet American Summer).
  7. High School Reunion : The Musical
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    East High School in 50 years. Where is Troy Bolton, now? Played by none other than, Nicholas Cage, you can safely guess he's doing anything to be employed.
  8. Your Local Theater's Production of The Full Monty
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    🍆
  9. Your Child's Elementary School Production of Hansel & Gretel
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    He will play both Hansel and the Witch. Full displaying his diversity and wardrobe change competence.
  10. Nicholas Cage is literally sitting by the phone, right now. Call him up if you have any ideas !
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