Wanted : Hypnotist (to Convince Me That...)

Haaaaalp.
  1. I don't want Curly Fries every hour of the day.
    Or ever, for that matter.
  2. Running is fun.
  3. No one needs to contact me 24/7. If you need me, you can call me on my landline.*
    *Or page me. Let's bring pagers back.
  4. Wifi? Who needs it.
    Not me.
  5. It doesn't matter if someone doesn't like me / doesn't approve of what I'm doing/saying/wearing.
  6. Working out is enjoyable
  7. Please contact me ASAP if you have voodoo hypnotist powers.