Ways This Funeral Could've Gone Better.

Yes, it was a funeral. But, it was also a comedy of errors.
  1. If it wasn't on a slope.
    It took place on the slope of a hill. I was doing a side lunge through most of the service.
  2. If the CD on the BOOMBOX wasn't scratched.
    The CD was scratched as we listened to 80's contemporary Christian tunes.
  3. If the Navy had (ironically) been on time.
    So much for punctuality, sirs.
  4. If the albino soloist had also been on time.
    There's nothing more obvious than an albino male hiking up hill in the sun at high noon.
  5. If the Navy Men knew how to fold a flag.
    I felt so much anxiety just watching them. As we all watch them attempt to fold a flag... And repeatedly having to restart because it's askew.
  6. If the trumpet player could get his trumpet back in its case.
    The struggle is real for this guy. He can't fold a flag... He can't get his trumpet in the case. He fumbles with the latches as his comrade waits in a salute.
  7. If the albino soloist remembered the words to the hymn he chose.
    Instead of awkwardly stopping... Stuttering... Restarting...