Worst Dates I've Been On.
Rating scale : 1-5 🖕🏼. Chronologically.
- •When my high school boyfriend took me to see Date Movie.But then his friend Jared was there, too. He decided to crash at Jared's house and asked if my mom could pick me up. Because I lived pretty far from the movie theater and he didn't feel like driving me home. (Rating 🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼)
- •That time this really cute guy who I couldn't figure out was into me (he was) invited his best friend to come to the movies with us (why does this keep happening to me?)But I ended up thinking the friend was much cuter and more charming. He's married, now. But I think of him fondly from time to time. (Rating: 🖕🏼- because his friend was nice)
- •The time my guy friend took me to the prom dressed as Napoleon Dynamite.And then kept trying to cop a feel. The worst part is that he didn't really look like Napoleon dynamite and everyone was just confused as to why he was wearing a ladies' suit. (Rating: 🖕🏼🖕🏼)
- •The time a guy took me to see 12 Years A Slave for our first official date.He was also very emotional and held the weight of the movie and slavery for the rest of the date. I think he also called me immature at the end of a self-righteous monologue. (Rating: 🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼)
- •The time a guy picked me up and then said he had to run a quick errand. And I was like - totally fine!But then it was a drug deal. And I was like... Ehhh I don't know you... This is a date.... (Rating: 🖕🏼)
- •The time a guy told me he was the second coming of the prophet Isaiah.Next level crazy shit, you guys. Also long, racist rants... It's a long story. (Rating: 🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼)
- •The time a guy invited me over to play video games.I watched him play video games for four hours and then he fell asleep. So I left. This happened more frequently than I would like to admit. (Rating: 🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼)
- •The time that same guy invited me to dinner to apologize for only ever playing video games in my presence.And then didn't show up. RIP the horrible date that never was (Rating: 🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼)
- •Before you judge me on the last two... He was really cute.And also an asshole.
- •BONUS: 12 years a slave guy invited me to his birthday party after we broke up to be the bigger person.I was so nervous. But I was feeling good. Cute outfit. Good hair day. Good makeup. I walk in confidently - I greet him with a confident hug and a "happy birthday!". He says - "thank you for coming. Oh... You have lipstick on your teeth." ☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠