WHY I DRINK

there are many reasons why people decide to turn to alcohol, and these are my extremely valid reasons.
  1. love is stupid
  2. other people offered to pay for my liquid courage
  3. sometimes, I just want a reasonable explanation for why I express my true feelings about things
  4. "I was drunk" is an excuse that is accepted and understood world wide
  5. my best days of work generally follow my best nights of drinking
  6. I don't have to think about the fact that I am 25 and slowly rotting my youth away in a cubicle
  7. life is more honest and fun while intoxicated
    and don't even try to argue this known fact, okay?
  8. everyone else wants to be drinking right now, anyway
  9. I can play bieber's entire new album on the jukebox without anyone deciding it is a personal vendetta against them
  10. it was an accident