Allow Me to Listroduce™ Myself

  1. I'm a small town Kansas girl
    But I've never had a moment when it didn't chafe at me.
  2. I'm a tagalong.
    The youngest of four by 8 years, meaning I grew up ridiculously indulged and full of nearly delusional self-confidence. (Don't worry, real life has knocked that out of me.)
  3. I've been a mom longer than I've been anything else in my life.
    I had my first child at 19, and I have never felt so perfectly settled in my own skin as I did the day she was born.
  4. I have 5 hilarious, creative, loving, brilliant, gorgeous, bright, profound children.
    I am not biased in any way. Just stating the facts.
  5. I'm learning to navigate life on my own after twenty years of marriage.
    I haven't had to date since I was 18. My ex left a year and a half ago, when I turned 40. Dating has been weird. And exhilarating. But mostly weird.
  6. I am a logophile.
    I adore words. So much so that all of the tattoos I want are poems or quotes. I want them to live under my skin.
  7. I color.
    BUT I'VE BEEN COLORING FOR YEARS. I'm not just some Johnny Come Lately to the coloring game. I've been a dedicated colorer since the days when I used to have to scour the internet for books or print off my own pages. So I'm cooler than you.
  8. I am... particular about food.
    I don't like the word "picky". I am not a pain in the ass about food. I will eat anywhere and never be whiny about it, and I can make a meal for myself out of just about anything anywhere, but don't force me to try your food or tell me a million times why I should like what you're having. I have probably tried and already discovered that I dislike some part of it and am attempting not to be rude by gagging openly at the table.
  9. I am good at my job.
    This came as something of a surprise to me, because it was a job I sort of fell into and had no training for and didn't even know I wanted until I was doing it. Which is an apt explanation for pretty much everything in my adult life to date, now that I think of it.
  10. I am an animal lover.
    I have a very spoiled shih tzu named Bear (aka BooBoo) and two ridiculous Maine Coons named Amphitryon (aka Amphy, aka Amphers, aka Ampherson) and Circe (aka Little Miss, aka Circ), but I've never met a stray that I wouldn't feed and most likely adopt or at least foster.
  11. I am really very good at taking care of others.
    And fucking lousy at taking care of myself. But I'm working on it.