I ❤ Food (aka The Trash I Eat)
Just a bunch of things I've posted about how I eat. Don't judge.
- •I've had approximately...147 Starbursts today. CURSE YOU, OFFICE CANDY JAR!!!
- •I just absentmindedly ate the piece of cheese with a Benadryl in it that was meant for the dog. Looks like we're both sleeping without scratching tonight.
- •Unsure if there is enough food on my desk... Should probably order lunch...
- •Hi. I'm Brook and I'm a Halloween candy addict.
- •It is 8:15 am and I've already had to scrub chocolate out of my dress. Unsure what this says about my life choices...
- •Inner Monologue:I should get something to drink... I should get a water bottle. I'm not hydrating enough...Drinking more water would be good for my skin, and I'm feeling kind of wrinkly today and my birthday is coming up...another year older, more wrinkles...but what are the chances that one water bottle is going to make a difference?...Pretty slim...I should get a Dr. Pepper...
- •It is utter bullshit that sesame breadstick bites are no longer included in Gardetto's snack mix. In other news, I'm eating Gardetto's for breakfast.
- •One of these days I'll be someone who has homemade baked goods fresh from the oven for dessert, but tonight I'm just gonna sit here on the couch eating my peanut butter and chocolate chips out of a coffee mug.
- •If I die in a fiery car crash some day, just know that there's like a 32.45% chance that it's because I was trying to open a Slim Jim while driving.
- •Things I ate in the car because I was late to work today: 1. Half a cold leftover turkey burger that was in the fridge. 2. 3 Frozen mini pancakes. 3. 1 semi-smashed Ding Dong.
- •So I'm just standing in my kitchen, reading the directions on the grits container, when my brain suddenly decides to fire up "Lip Gloss" by Lil Mama. - "My lip gloss is cool. My lip gloss be poppin'. I'm standing at my locker and all the boys are stoppin'..." I'm, like, 57% certain I must be having a stroke.(Only tangentially food related, I realize, but I felt it merited inclusion.)
- •QOTD: Me, two minutes ago - "I need to quit eating this cookie dough and do my fucking planks."
- •Does eating hummus out of a container with your finger count as a healthy lunch? Not that I'm doing that... Because that would be unladylike... And Lord knows I'm nothing if not ladylike...
- •Which do you think has the maximum amount of butter on it - Movie Theater Butter Popcorn, Butter Lovers Popcorn, or Xtreme Butter Popcorn? Asking for a friend...
- •Made fresh biscuit dough donuts for breakfast. On a school day. They're still tallying the votes for Mother of the Year, but I'm pretty sure I've got a good shot.
- •Today I needed Kraft Macaroni and Cheese like I needed air.