Judgment

  1. There's a weird thing that happens when you have to ask people publicly for money.
  2. You feel the need to explain everything you're doing, every penny you spend, because you don't want people to think you're being irresponsible.
  3. You don't want to look too nice.
  4. You don't want to look too happy.
  5. You don't want to post about things going on in your life on social media for fear of being judged.
  6. I took my daughter to her political science camp today at a university an hour and a half away.
  7. For the first time in a few weeks, I actually put on makeup and made an effort to look nice. I've been very depressed, so this has not been a priority for me recently. But I wanted to look nice for my kid. I didn't buy anything new, haven't in months. It was stuff I already own.
  8. The camp was free, she had to be nominated and was chosen based on academic performance and letters of recommendation. She bought everything she needed for it herself from money she earned at her job - new dress clothes, a sleeping bag, etc.
  9. She paid for the gas for me to drive her there. And thanks to a very kind friend, I had money to take her out to lunch before I dropped her off.
  10. I posted a picture on FB. A proud mom picture.
  11. And someone commented "Didn't you say you were broke?".
  12. What do you say to that?
  13. Because I'm broke, I'm supposed to sit in my home all day and never leave with no makeup on and no nice clothes on and only go to work and back again.
  14. I deleted it.
  15. It sucked the joy right out of it.