Things Heard While Carving Pumpkins With My Teenagers
- •"Look at those fleek ass eyebrows on this pumpkin."
- •"Branwen should have a pumpkin carving station at her wedding. I'm snapping her that."My oldest is getting married in a year. 😊
- •"Remember when we used to make hella fun of Charlie Puth's fucked up eyebrow, but then we found out it was actually the result of a vicious dog attack when he was younger, and we felt like such catty bitches?"
- •"Imma just stab it and see where this goes."
- •"Oh shit, I got pumpkin on my titty."
- •"You gotta watch your use of negative space, brah."
- •"I've... I've gone too far. I've overdone."