THINGS SAID WHILE MY SON TRIED TO TEACH ME HOW TO PLAY OVERWATCH (Rated M for Mature Language)
A little background - I do NOT know how to play video games. There may be other 42 year old women who are awesome at it, but I am not one of them. My extent of PS4 controller usage is navigating Netflix. But in a fit of mother/son bonding today, I offered to learn.
- •"Do you really need to play the tutorial?"
- •"Aidan, I literally don't even know how to walk. Yes, I need the tutorial. I may need the tutorial several times."
- •"Why can't I look and walk at the same time???"
- •"Why am I so bad at just walking???"
- •"Mom, I turned the controller sensitivity all the way to zero, how are you still so bad at this?"
- •"Yes I want to play the fucking tutorial again, I couldn't even figure out how to walk up the fucking stairs!!" (Said to the game, not my son.)
- •"Do you want me to take the controller and just show you?" "NO. I WON'T LEARN ANYTHING THAT WAY."
- •"WHY AM I SO BAD AT THIS????!!!!"
- •"HOW THE FUCK AM I GETTING EVEN WORSE AT LOOKING AND SHOOTING AT A MOVING TARGET, I'VE PLAYED THROUGH THE TUTORIAL THREE GODDAMN TIMES!!!"
- •"I bet that's the first time anybody's ever rage quit a tutorial." - my son, muttered under his breath as he took the controller away from his deranged mother.