THINGS SAID WHILE MY SON TRIED TO TEACH ME HOW TO PLAY OVERWATCH (Rated M for Mature Language)

A little background - I do NOT know how to play video games. There may be other 42 year old women who are awesome at it, but I am not one of them. My extent of PS4 controller usage is navigating Netflix. But in a fit of mother/son bonding today, I offered to learn.
  1. "Do you really need to play the tutorial?"
  2. "Aidan, I literally don't even know how to walk. Yes, I need the tutorial. I may need the tutorial several times."
  3. "Why can't I look and walk at the same time???"
  4. "Why am I so bad at just walking???"
  5. "Mom, I turned the controller sensitivity all the way to zero, how are you still so bad at this?"
  6. "Yes I want to play the fucking tutorial again, I couldn't even figure out how to walk up the fucking stairs!!" (Said to the game, not my son.)
  7. "Do you want me to take the controller and just show you?" "NO. I WON'T LEARN ANYTHING THAT WAY."
  8. "WHY AM I SO BAD AT THIS????!!!!"
  9. "HOW THE FUCK AM I GETTING EVEN WORSE AT LOOKING AND SHOOTING AT A MOVING TARGET, I'VE PLAYED THROUGH THE TUTORIAL THREE GODDAMN TIMES!!!"
  10. "AAAARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!"
  11. "I bet that's the first time anybody's ever rage quit a tutorial." - my son, muttered under his breath as he took the controller away from his deranged mother.