Things I have recently said to one (or more) of my dogs

We have dogs. 4 to be exact. I'm still not sure if they take more of my energy or my kids.
  1. "Keep it in your pants."
  2. "Stop stalking me."
  3. "Nope. Lizards are not food around here buddy."
  4. "Quick! Eat the rest of the lizard before the kids see it" (this isn't animal cruelty. We live in FL where lizards run everywhere. One of my dogs is obsessed with catching them)
  5. "Why are you so cute and so ugly at the same time!!!????"
  6. "Please stop sitting on my head."
  7. "Don't hump your sister!"