THINGS THAT AGGRAVATE MY INNER MISANTHROPE

I normally love people, but sometimes certain situations bring out my dislike of humans. Inspired by my commute home on the train.
  1. Reality TV
    "As a rule, I steer clear of reality shows. They tend to engender visceral loathing for humanity deep within me, and I want to fight my impulse toward misanthropy, not cultivate it like a psychic bonsai tree." –Nathan Rabin. Also me.
  2. Large crowds
    When there are too many people around jostling me, blowing their vape cloud in my face, talking too loudly, and such, I just want to start punching people in the back of the neck willy-nilly.
  3. Playing sports
    "If you elbow me in the boob one more time, I swear I will cut you."
  4. Concerts
    "If you elbow me in the boob one more time, I swear I will cut you."
  5. Traffic
  6. Fraternities
    I can't with you people.
  7. The news
    Why do people do such terrible things?
  8. Political news channels. Especially Fox News.
    How is it possible for people to be this asinine and inflammatory?!
  9. Comment sections on the Internet
    The dregs of humanity marinated in misogyny, poor grammar, and racism.
  10. Public transit
    Today: insane delays, mobs, a cluster of bros cuts in front of people who had been waiting for over half an hour. Train finally arrives and one bro sits in seat reserved for elderly/handicapped/pregnant women. Later a man and women get in a screaming fight when he (accidentally?) kicks her foot. She shrieks "Fuck you! You're an asshole! I wish YOU were the man on the tracks!" He retorts "No, YOU'RE the asshole!" "You're a DICK! I just had SURGERY." Exited trains to car horns honking.