UNCOUTH JOKES TOLD TO ME BY DAN, THE OLD MAN WITH WHOM I LIVE
Typical dinner conversation. I'm sure I'll have more to add later and that there's a few I'm forgetting right now.
- •What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?One takes care of the family tree and one takes care of the family bush.
- •A 1960s specific jokeA boy picking up his gal for a date waits with her father. "So! What are you two thinking of doing tonight?" Asks the father. "Oh I was thinking of taking her bowling, sir." He replied. "Well you know what she really likes to do is screw." Says the father. "Excuse me?" "Yeah she's crazy about it! Does it all the time! That's what you should do tonight." "Well okay!" He replies excitedly. 5 minutes into their date the girl storms back in the house all rumpled. "Dad! It's called the TWIST!"
- •1940s racial slurs3 Italians are walking in the woods and they decide to stop for the night in a cave. A vampire bat swoops down and sucks all the blood out of 1 Italian, picks him up by neck and drops him down. Later another vampire bat picks up a 2nd Italian, drinks his blood and drops him from the sky. The last Italian wakes up and sees a crocodile at his feet singing "drained wops keep falling on my head" *to the tune of "Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head"*. (Full disclosure, not sure how this is a joke)