IMAGINARY ESTABLISHMENTS ON VENICE'S ABBOT KINNEY BLVD.

By me, @maxosswald and our friends LMA & GKN.
  1. Ampersand
    An artisanal manufacturer of stationery made from flax, tarro, and other ancient grains. Half of all proceeds go to teaching grainsmanship to under-privileged children.
  2. Butter's Cousin
    A gluten free, vegan, holistic bakery specializing in non-toxic edible pottery.
  3. Tack & Paddock
    An equestrian-themed leisure club boasting both the equipment and the grounds to fulfill members' thirst for classic, hand-crafted divertisements. No phones allowed. Thoroughbred-adjacent photos by Mark Seliger available upon request.
  4. Halibut Kinney
    Venice's premier aqua preserve for pescatarian yoga.
  5. Mortar & Pestle
    A speakeasy serving craft cocktails made exclusively with herbs we grow in our community garden. Our man-bunned mixologists grind the herbs by hand upon request. For a fee, our in-house Reiki astrologer can recommend an appropriate herb tincture for your aura.
  6. Vial
    A biodynamic homeopathic Wiccan apothecary selling hand-crafted artisan potions and unguents made under the light of the full moon or dark of the new moon.
  7. A Morel Dilemma
    Organic mushrooms and lectures on the ethics of truffling.
  8. Juniper Rising
    A small batch gin mill with a menu of 213 hand selected botanicals to personally craft your own bottle of artisan gin.
  9. Hen of the Woods
    A fellowship of Venice-based mothers whose feeding philosophy is "only breastmilk and mushrooms for the first 6 years."
  10. The _____ Method™
    A fusion of non-verbal mirroring and neo-Alexander Technique that will revolutionize your acting career. Prerequisites include: 10-day silent meditation retreat in Joshua Tree and $795 non-refundable deposit. Celebrity testimonials available upon request via password-protected website.
  11. As the Crow Flies
    Paper airplanes made out of vintage Cuban newspapers, as well as one-of-a-kind organic jewelry comprised of lacquered found objects. Said objects are sourced exclusively from the beaks of free-range crows. The jewelry should sit near your pulse points, therein connecting you most deeply to the "lost spirit of the scavenger."
  12. Love-in-Idleness
    Handcrafted colonics made only from botanicals grown in their own biodynamic Shakespeare Garden which are then lovingly administered into your nethers by Queen Mab herself.
  13. j a c k + g i n g e r
    Southern-inspired children's boutique.
  14. ( ) Shirt. ( ) Shoes. ( ) Service.
    Non-profit bourbon bar brought to you by the same proprietors as j a c k + g i n g e r. Their next venture (opening in early 2017) is a French ice milk collective focusing exclusively on classic Ladurée flavors. It will be named for their children, Paien + Parfait.
  15. Barnacle
    The only place you can buy hand knitted sweaters in the pattern of British Colonial maritime flags using yarn that was hand spun on their antique red wood loom.
  16. Ink & Quill
    No one knows what this is, but there's a waiting list.