JOHN STAMOS: THE STORY OF US

  1. Childhood
    My parents usually go out and leave us with a babysitter on Fridays. As such, I watch FULL HOUSE on TGIF every week with my little brother. We eat mac & cheese and chicken nuggets, and I think about how hot Uncle Jessie is. (I go on to date lots of musicians.)
  2. High School
    A small prep school in suburban Connecticut. Worlds away from Hollywood. There's a kid in my class whose name is John Stamos. Because he's not, like, the super popular hot guy, his name makes him a particularly funny presence, and we all have great fondness for him.
  3. December 2013
    I'm leaving on a 7am flight to go home for Christmas. But first, an evening commercial callback for Greek yogurt. I arrive & realize the callback involves licking yogurt off of John Stamos' face. Literally. He is in the room, and each girl does a little scene & then licks the yogurt off his face. We can't believe he's in the room and this is happening. Is this dreamy? Degrading? Hygienic? I do it - not hot, just kinda weird - but don't book the commercial. I laugh every time I think of Stamos.
  4. December 2015
    I work on GRANDFATHERED. I have scenes with Stamos. I choose not to mention the yogurt thing. A fellow actor is telling a funny story. We laugh. Stamos approaches: "What are you guys laughing at?" I think I'm being nice by sharing the story with him. "M's wife once thought he was Jerry O'Connell!" To which Stamos replies, "Ha. My wife *married* Jerry O'Connell." He smiles & clearly has a sense of humor about it. I put my foot in my mouth & want to die immediately. I don't. We do the scene.
  5. Last Night
    Our episode airs. I'm reminded of our whole history and I chuckle. Maybe I'll go watch FULLER HOUSE to bring this thing full circle?