THINGS I DO BEFORE THE HOUSEKEEPER COMES

  1. 1.
    Clean my apartment.
    So she thinks I'm neat. I also clean up my husband's stuff so she thinks he's neat. And I make sure the dog looks cute, because she loves the dog and I love that she loves the dog. Does this make you scared for the children I might have in the future? It should.
  2. 2.
    Hide my vision boards.
    So she doesn't think I'm crazy or that I'm reaching too high & might fail.
  3. 3.
    Hide my sex toys.
    Because I am a dignified goddamn lady and want to maintain a virginal reputation and certain things are just private, okay?
  4. 4.
    In conclusion, is this transference and do I need to talk to my therapist to about how my housekeeper is not my mother?